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Joke of the Day

"Me and bros invented a new drinking game Draw a card, and if its black, take a shot we call it Ferguson"

"I hate when people leave their shit in the bathroom I don't know what's so good about the showers. The toilets are right next to them!"

"Superman biggest weakness is not kryptonite. It's horses."

"What to you get if you cross a parrot with an elephant ? An animal that tells you everything that it remembers !"

"Why would I want to quit smoking? Oh, to live longer. Why would I want to live longer?"

"I almost got into an accident with someone who was texting and driving... luckily I braked just in time or else I would've spilt my beer."

"*slips a 20* How about a private dance ""Okay let's go"" *heads to private room* ""You ready?"" Oh hell yeah *we both do the cha cha slide*"

"Yes autocorrect, I was trying to find some 'amazon' weed"

"Who wants gold? amuse me first...hahaha"

"Why don't rabbits make any noise when they have sex? Because they have cotton balls"