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Joke of the Day

"I don't always tell dad jokes But when I do, he laughs"

"I saw this advert in a window that said: ""Television for sale, $1, volume stuck on full."" I thought, ""I can't turn that down."""

"Why does Snoop Dogg need an umbrella? Fo drizzle"

"My parenting book would be just a series of ""Shhh"" with different lengths and punctuation for various occasions."

"If you like drunk girls in really high heels, you may also be attracted to newborn ponies."

"I'll bet when two cannibals get trapped in an elevator going to lunch, around the fifth minute, things start getting a little weird."

"I saw a man sitting on a curb looking down on his luck so I gave him a dollar he gave it back and said "" I'm not homeless, I'm married """

"What's the number one comeback on r/Jokes? Riposte."

"Sometimes you just need to reach out and touch someone. With a shovel. On the side of the head."

"What do you call a pissed off german? Sauerkraut"