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Joke of the Day

"I like to shit with the door open, because it keeps other people from getting onto the elevator with me."

"I can't make you love me but I can tie you up and feed you until you're too fat to be loved by anyone else."

"What do you call it when a chameleon won't change colors? A reptile dysfunction"

"What do you do when you see and Mexican on a bike? Shoot him he probably stole that bike. What do you do when you see a black man on a bike? Shoot the bike, that's your nigger."

"Dance like no one's a werewolf. Eat like you found it in the couch. Shout like your cat's sleeping. Feel good like a bossy poem told you to."

"A large marine mammal was recently in Cardiff. It had a Wales of a time."

"What sort of tape measure does the guy from The Guinness Book of Records use to measure the worlds longest tape measure?"

"A blind man walks into a bar and a table and a chair."

"A bird in the hand is worth nothing and is probably giving you duck AIDS. Put it back."

"What does a dog do that you step in? Pants."