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Joke of the Day
"What does an orphan get for Christmas? Really lonely."
Next Joke
"Two kittens are on a sloped roof. Which one slides off first? The one with the lowest mew."
"Interviewer: congrats you got the security guard job Me: *already asleep on a folding chair* Interviewer: hang on u don't start til monday"
"How do you know a homeless woman is menstruating? If she's only wearing one sock. (This joke brought to you courtesy the homeless guy outside my local 7-11.) Edit: tweaked the punchline."
"What do you get if you mix a joke and a rhetorical question?"
"You must have been born on a highway... ...because that's where most accidents happen. Thanks random kid on CS:GO."
"Most of my alone time is just a cataloging of hatreds and revenge scenarios."
"One of the main goals for Republicans is to close our Borders. Well, mission accomplished. I hear they're going after Books-A-Million next."
"My doctor said the best thing I could do for my health was to go outside more. He told me to pick a fun outdoor hobby to motivate me to get out of the house. So I started smoking."
"How many possibilities does a man with no arms and legs have? Limbitless"