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Joke of the Day

"You must have been born on a highway... ...because that's where most accidents happen. Thanks random kid on CS:GO."

"Why do tweakers do it doggy-style? So they can both look out the window."

"I saw a woman with 12 breasts. Sounds strange, dozen tit?"

"My room isn't dirty, I just have everything on display like a museum."

"Two gay guys are going on vacation... ...the night before they are to leave, one gay guy says to the other, ""Hey man, can I pack your shit?"""

"What do you call a Jewish stoner with Downs Syndrome? A twice baked potato"

"You realize kids in other countries make Air Jordan's and iPhones right? -Me responding poorly to my kid's homemade Father's Day gifts."

"What did the cannibal get when he arrived late for dinner? The cold shoulder!"

"I missed a period in that last tweet. I hope I'm not pregnant."

"A sheep, a drum and a snake fall off a cliff. ""Baa-Dum-Tss"""