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Joke of the Day

"McConaughey: I'll have a venti with cream please Starbucks barista: ok, how do you spell your last name? McConaughey: I don't know"

"The great thing about Joan Rivers is No matter who digs her up in a thousand years time, she'll always look surprised to see them."

"What do you do when a scientist dies? You barium! ba-dum-tss"

"A man, his wife and a son find a genie and get 3 wishes. Son: a hamster! Dad: fuck hamster! Mom: don't fuck the hamster!"

"How many Germans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One, they're efficient and they aren't very funny."

"What did the lesbian-vampire say to her girlfriend? See ya next month."

"So, if 4 out of 5 people suffer some medical condition, does that mean the other 1 person enjoys it?"

"A black man takes a girl home from a nightclub.. She says ""Show me it's true what they say about black men"". So he stabs her and takes her purse."

"You must've been conceived at home... That's where most accidents happen."

"I bought a new flat last week... I use it as my spare."