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Joke of the Day

"I'm 30 but I still feel like I'm 20 Until I hang out with 20 year olds Then I'm like no, never mind, I'm 30"

"Damn girl, can I get all up in that? I'm sorry, where are my manners. MAY I get all up in that?"

"Why don't elephants smoke? They can't fit their butts in the ashtray"

"Father, pardon, excuse, exonerate, absolve, acquit, forgive me, for I have synonymed."

"Just watching that movie where Julia Roberts has a lot of teeth."

"What do you give a sick horse? Cough stirrup."

"Beverly Hills - 90210 Denver Broncos - 16"

"What did the couch surfing, yoga junkie say when his friend asked him to leave? Namaste."

"Me: ""If only the man upstairs could have blessed you with brains as well as beauty."" Wife: ""Why the hell is there a man upstairs?"""

"I finally have enough money in my retirement account for the rest of my life. If I die on Tuesday."