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Joke of the Day

"Nothing ruins your Friday like realizing it's only Thursday."

"What do you call a stupid asshole? Ignoranus"

"BlackJack Jack be nimble Jack be quick Cuz Jack just stole that candlestick"

"How did the Roman cut his hair? Caesar"

"What's the difference between Donald Trump and a gynecologist? A gynecologist will shake a woman's hand before grabbing their pussy."

"Some guy at a party asked me, ""Who's cheese is on those chips?"" [Fixed] And I said, ""Well, obviously *na-chos*."" Get it? It sounds like '*not yours*' with an accent."

"WIFE: Having your phone in your jeans pocket will make you infertile & stop us having more kids ME: *shoves 10 phones & microwave in pocket*"

"What did UK say while leaving? It's not EU, it's me"

"Me: This is a nice, quiet neighborhood. Real estate agent: This is a cemetery. Me: I'll take it."

"Thank you for defining the word 'many' for me. It means a lot."