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Joke of the Day

"but sir, if a picture is worth a thousamd words then i dont understamd why my essay cant just be 4 or 5 emojis"

"I'm multi-talented: I can talk and piss you off at the same time."

"Its national left-handers day I'm going to rub one out with my right hand to give lefty his day off"

"It's only Wednesday and I'm already 94% done with this week."

"Giving people the finger while driving just isn't effective. Which is why I had the catapult installed."

"Yo mama so old she knew Burger King while he was still a prince."

"What did the green light say to the red light? I love you, but I'm sick of yellow light always breaking us up."

"true romantic: I wonder what they're like in bed (bath and beyond)"

"Two blonds are having a conversation. Two blonds are having a conversation when one says to the other ""I had sex with a brazilian last night"" The other blond replies ""WOW that's a lot of men"""

"A friend came over visibly shaken. He said he had just slept with his 3rd cousin. I told him, if it upsets you that much quit counting them."