106413

Joke of the Day

"Let go.. New perspective.. If you love someone, let them go. If they come back, . . . . nobody wanted them."

"Ladies: The ""silent treatment"" is not a punishment. Try the ""sit next to him and cry and or frown excessively treatment"" instead."

"Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered six offender."

"I wanted to make an impromptu joke. But I wasn't ready."

"What do you get when you subtract the date and time that Tony Stark built an AI from the current date and time? The Age Of Ultron."

"Young God: ok, a little hydrogen and- *chemistry set explodes* Mom: what was that?! God: nothing! *scoops resulting universe into shoebox*"

"I can't wait for the next Quantum Physicist triathlon. I'm going to stand beside the bikes and yell out their speeds. They'll get so lost they'll end back at the starting line."

"I covered myself from head to toe in mirrors today. I don't really know why, maybe I'm just at that age where you do a lot of reflecting..."

"What did the ambitious suicidal person say? I'm going to kill myself, or die trying."

"Why did the Boston Marathon runner collapse before finishing the race? (WTF?) His thighs were burning too bad."