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Joke of the Day

"A radio wave walks into a bar and asks for a pint. The barman says, ""here you go, but why the long phase?"""

"My mom caught me smoking weed. She punished me by sending me to my room without any supper."

"The three most important unwritten rules. 1. 2. 3."

"Mostly men lie before the elections, sex and after fishing."

"The woman selling sea shells by the sea shore must have had a strong personal brand to overcome such a poor business model."

"My bedtime is 9:11pm... So I never forget."

"Give a man a jacket He will be warm for the winter. Teach a man to jacket, he will never leave the house."

"[at gym] *spends 45 minutes untangling headphones *drops phone, squats to pick it up Phew! Good workout! *leaves"

"""I don't want to talk about it, so I posted some lyrics for you to decipher about how it's your fault."" ~ girls"

"Governors that use foursquare probably get really angry when they become mayor of something."