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Joke of the Day

"Whats the difference between Lance Armstrong and Hitler? Lance can finish a race."

"X is An Independent Variable That don't need no Y."

"There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Mafia Victim Barbie ...feet set in cement--she really sinks!"

"Today I saw a guy driving around with upward of 10 parking tickets on his windshield. Now what were you saying about not giving a fuck?"

"What's the one thing a black person will never steal? Your job."

"My company has a nicotine like addiction to conference calls."

"[liquor store] Him: Did you see a cat in here? I know I just heard purring. Me: *looking at huge boxed wine selection* Him: Oh, it's you."

"My cousins baby child keeps pointing at me and saying 'cat'"

"What's the difference between a chick pea and a lentil? I've never had a lentil on my chest."

"Never date a philosophy major My last girlfriend was one and she spent most of her time trying to prove that I didn't exist"