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Joke of the Day

"Q: What can a goose do a duck can't and a lawyer should? A: Stick his bill up his ass."

"Just remember, every time someone misuses the word ""epic"" Zooey Deschanel covers another Smiths song on her ukulele."

"Cashier: Need to see some ID Me: You get a lot of 20yo guys buying tampons, diapers, grapes & whiskey? Cashier: Yup Me: Ok, here you go then"

"If stealing office supplies were an Olympic sport, they'd test me for steroids."

"Use of the word ""irony"" should be avoided, ironically enough."

"Why did the chicken kill itself? To get to the other side"

"Where did the man with an undecorated yard put his spare change? His Hedge Fund."

"That new show, Black-ish just started airing in Korea. It's called Brackish."

"[NSFW] I just came up with the female version of the, 'helping Jack off the bus' joke. If you had a Vietnamese friend named Gina, wold you ask her to eat Pho Gina?"

"Touch it gently, put two fingers inside, if it's wide use three fingers, make sure it's wet and rub up and down. Yep that's how you wash a cup."