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Joke of the Day
"If I ever lose a hand I'll replace it with a single nunchuck on a chain"
Next Joke
"I only believe in 12.5% of everything the Bible says. Which makes me an eighth theist."
"Some people say I have no idea how to run a court room. I'll let you be the judge."
"Your turtle puns tortoise family apart"
"Why didn't the string get anything for Christmas? Because he was knotty!"
"[cat support technician] Me: So you're here to fix my computer? Cat: *nods* Me: Great, here it is. Cat: *lays on keyboard & falls asleep*"
"Our generation is messed up. We have unprotected sex, but have cases on our phones."
"Why do computer programmers confuse Christmas with Halloween? Because Dec 25 = Oct 31"
"7y: mummy, how long have you been married to daddy? Me: 7 years 7y: how long have you got left?"
"Me: Show me a pan that didn't get clean the first time and I will show you a pan that needs to soak.. Wife: STOP TWEETING AND WASH THE PAN!"