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Joke of the Day

"Why do whales have really good immune systems? They consume a lot of vitamin SEA!"

"What did the Australian sea captain announce when he decided to wank with both arms? All hands on deck"

"Ten years ive been looking for a play on words to impress my friends.. No pun in ten did."

"I like my coffee like I like my women. Black and taken from poor countries when not mature."

"A guy named Lur tells his friend about a business idea... ""I have a brilliant idea! I am going to make and sell my own line of cars!"" To which his friend replied ""Christ, Lur!"""

"tower shaped appetisers are a bit of a mouthful. Talk about tall hors d'oeuvre"

"I couldn't use my phone at the funeral It was a dead zone"

"Hey I got your text but then I died, I'll probably like resurrect when we accidentally run into each other though"

"I bought condoms & the cashier said do you need a bag? I replied ""No she isn't that ugly""."

"Smelled my finger after I took the bandaid off of it. Don't do that."