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Joke of the Day

"How do you start a rave in Africa? Glue toast to the ceiling."

"When does one play a corny game? You play it by ear."

"I knew she was the one the moment she said those three words that took my breath away... ""THAT'S GONNA SMELL!"""

"This day in history. 1924. Franz Kafka died after a surrealistically charged life which should have its own adjective. Kafkastic? Kafkable?"

"I went on a date last night with a tiny lobster. It didnt go well. She was a little shellfish."

"if a cop ever asks me to count from 100 backwards ..i just get in the back seat"

"If you're a Liverpool Fan you are currently doing one of these three things: 1) Defending Gerrard 2) Defending Suarez 3) Kissing your sister"

"I want to be rich enough to realize that I can't buy happiness."

"I just bought a new computer... When i turned it on, instead of saying ""Welcome"", it said "" Hello"". It's a Dell."

"I am the designated driver of 5 40ish women attending a wine tasting. Your thoughts and prayers are appreciated during this difficult time."