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Joke of the Day

"Orc try to get at you? Hobbit like it's hot. Sauron get an attitude? Hobbit like it's hot. *click clack click clack click*"

"I want what any normal girl wants in life... A great job, a loving husband and to be the wallpaper on thousands of iPhones."

"Who sends flowers on Valentines Day? Cupigs!"

"Why are Mistborns always so thin? Because they're always Burning calories!"

"Unrestrained children in the back seat can cause accidents. Unrestrained accidents in the back seat can cause children."

"Well, you see, there is something wrong with my friend... He spawns the pink eyes, and he doesn't catch it from other people... He just gives it to himself... Then spread it."

"I wish mirrors and cameras would get together and figure out what I really look like."

"Crazy that we could end poverty by having an airplane drop thousands of inspirational quotes from Facebook on a 3rd world village."

"So I walked into the pharmacy the other day... because I needed to grab some condoms. As I was checking out, the clerk asked, ""do you need a bag for that?"" I replied, ""Nah, she's not that ugly."""

"I just used a Saddam Hussein jelly mould.... I think I've set a dangerous president."