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Joke of the Day

"Everyone is unique. Except you. You are not unique. You are the only not unique person in human history."

"Oh so Paris Hilton can carry a dog in her purse but if I leave my baby in a suitcase behind the chicken restaurant I'm some kind of monster."

"What's black and white all over and difficult? An exam paper!"

"When asked my theory on Amelia Earhart's disappearance I said ""maybe she went black"" and now I don't have to help with homework"

"What food can tell you if a girl is pregnant? Chickpea"

"Drummer's joke I texted my old band today saying I miss playing music. They replied with ""What's new? You missed playing, when you were with us, man!"""

"someone brought a box of lemons to work and emailed out saying ""there's lemons"" and now every one has a lemon on their desk. why"

"Just tell me those 3 words I am dying to hear: ""The meeting's cancelled."""

"The other day I went to the doctor and he told me I may be schizophrenic And I said, ""Hey Doc, you must be talking to the wrong guy!"""

"I came online to watch porn and start arguements And I'm typing this with my left hand."