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Joke of the Day

"When people ask me about my hobbies, I tell them I'm into birdwatching, photography and meeting new people. It sounds better than stalking."

"I like my women like I like my coffee, Not-tea"

"Ms. Pac Man is the biggest hoe in history For 25 cents she swallows until she fucking dies."

"getting my hopes up only to become even more disappointed dot edu"

"A man runs into a bar... ...Of steel. He ends up breaking one of his ribs."

"I was on the subway when someone sneezed on me. I was so disgusted, I turned to him and said ""People like you make me sick."""

"I bought a new stick of deodorant today and the instructions say to remove the top and push up bottom I can barely walk now but when I fart the room smells lovely"

"Bad advice to give a kleptomaniac... ""You should really take something for that."""

"Studying abroad: Spending months in another country. Studying a broad: Spending months Facebook stalking Ashley."

"I went on a diet for 10 days. You know what I lost? 10 Days"