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Joke of the Day

"I tried to cook something from scratch..and ended up summoning a demon."

"Anytime I see a happy white couple in their 30's sitting in front of a laptop, I just assume they are filming a credit score commercial."

"I've slowly replaced sex with food... and now I can't even get into my own pants."

"I love this time of year, where my massive spider webs and the dead guy in my living room are ""Halloween decorations"" again."

"The classiest knock knock joke in existence [Fixed] Two guys walk into a bar"

"What do you call a black man camping? Criminal intent"

"Me: How was the party last night? 17: It was fun. The cops came. Me: What??? 17: Nah, it's cool. We got away. Me: That's my girl."

"Come to my apartment on black friday and get all your clothes 100% off."

"Where did the ADHD kid spend his summer? (Dark) At a concentration camp."

"The five second rule doesn't apply to babies. You can pick them up anytime after dropping."