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Joke of the Day

"IAN: I broke my leg once ME: I've never broken a bone, touch wood [touches wood] THE UNIVERSE: THIS MAN WILL NEVER BREAK A BONE"

"Why is an Alabama divorce like a tornado? One way or the other someone is losing a trailer."

"Let's hold off calling dolphins the smartest animal until they stop getting caught in nets."

"If you watch the Mighty Ducks backwards it's about a hockey team that starts sucking so bad that the coach leaves and becomes an alcoholic."

"I'm taking my mother-in-law to the new Resident Evil movie because she's staying with me and I love subliminal messages."

"what do you call a Chinese man with 2 black eyes who lamped chow"

"I like my women like I like my coffee, Not-tea"

"Today I met a woman with twelve breasts, sounds strange, dozen tit?"

"Let's find out what pisses the crickets off and do THAT during the day"

"whats the most uncomfortable thing about a prostate exam? When you ask the doctor where to put your pants and his reply is right next to mine."