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Joke of the Day

"'Icy-Hot' is too weak for Chuck Norris. After a workout, Chuck Norris rubs his muscles down with liquid-hot MAGMA."

"I have a good joke about a nice balloon. Oh wait. It just got away from me."

"Bought a jug of detergent that said it will clean 126 loads. ...So why, after 3 washes, do my sheets still glow under the black light?"

"Daylight Saving Time starts this evening, turn your clocks forward and change smoke alarm batteries before going to bed tonight."

"Flash floods in Arizona last night. We nominate California and Texas. #ALSIceBucketChallenge"

"A man so poor... A man is so poor that he is unable to pay his exorcist. As a result he was repossessed."

"What did the blind man say when he walked past the fish market? Good morning ladies"

"Every time Chuck Norris smiles, someone dies. Unless he smiles while he's roundhouse kicking someone in the face. Then two people die."

"So I used to sleep on my carpet... I'd have to say, it was a pretty flooring experience."

"It makes me sad that in this age of computers and video games, my children will never understand what it's like to be raised by television."