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Joke of the Day
"Why did the chicken run across the road? She was worried the egg would get there first."
Next Joke
"Nice try government. But I'm not taking you back until I know where you've been for the last two weeks."
"What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef jerky"
"You know at first, I didn't like the mold I found on my skin. But then it started to grow on me."
"Today is my mom's birthday or as she calls it, Cinco de Seis, because someone taught her just enough Spanish to be annoying."
"How my day went today 1. Woke up 2. Went to work 3. Saw hot girl 4. Kissed the girl Too bad it happened in the order 2,3,4,1."
"A blind prostitute is giving a guy a handjob... ...And she says ""Wow this is the biggest dick I've ever been with!"" And the guy goes ""Nah, you're just pulling my leg."""
"If you insist on telling me about your weekend, I suggest you do it in the bathroom, as it's the only place I'll give a shit."
"What if balloons take over and start twisting us into animal shapes?"
"I just drove in from a Transformers convention... ... and boy, are my arms tires!"