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Joke of the Day

"I haven't used the computer in my basement since 1994 because the topless jpg. of Pamela Anderson is still downloading."

"Politics is just show business for ugly people."

"Her: You don't have to cook me dinner, we can just go out. Me *tossing a jellyfish in the air like pizza dough* No it's fine I don't mind.."

"What do you get when you cross an Elephant and a Rhino? 'Elephino!"

"Why is a frog luckier than a cat ? Because a frog croaks all the time but a cat only gets to croak nine times !"

"What breaks when you give it to a toddler? Its hips."

"With grape soda comes grape responsibility."

"Why did Sarah fall off the swing? ...because she didn't have any arms. Knock knock. (Who's there?) ...not Sarah."

"If I had to be in the military I'd probably pick sleeper cell agent cause I get tired a lot"

"Don't judge me because I like 80's music. Judge me because I had a late term abortion because a baby would ruin my holiday plans."