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Joke of the Day

"Do you even Choo Choo? Because you are a ""Damn Girl"" Karma train"

"Chuck Norris was the orginal sculptor of Mount Rushmore. He completed the entire project using only a bottle opener and a drywall trowel."

"Weed doesn't give me an attitude when I forget to pay the electric bill... I love you, weed."

"I went for a job interview. The bloke asked, ""Where do you see yourself in 10 yrs time?"" ""Same as now - in photos and mirrors,"" I replied"

"Hitler pun ""Sir, we're mining too many useless minerals."" Hitler: ""So mine less."" Grammar Nazi busts in. ""MINE FEWER."" (Hitler looks up) ""Yes?"""

"What's the difference between an old Greyhound terminal and a lobster with really big boobs? One is a crusty bus station the other is a busty crustation! ::buh dum bum::"

"What do you call an Irishman that stays out all night? Patty O'Furniture"

"So a bar walks into a physicist... Shoot; wrong frame of reference..."

"I hate when my wife asks me to hold her purse and it doesn't match what I'm wearing."

"Women don't say sorry, when a guy is right they say.... ""Whatever!"""