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Joke of the Day

"Women don't say sorry, when a guy is right they say.... ""Whatever!"""

"The movie Noah would be more entertaining if it was combined with Sharknado."

"What do you call a happy wizard? Optimystical"

"ME: I need help losing weight. I've tried everything. NARRATOR: He hadn't tried anything at all. Nothing."

"[first date] ""So... you didn't mention that you're trapped in 230 million year old amber."" [my motionless eyes glint within my golden shell]"

"Why did Marxism never catch on in England? Because then it'd be impossible to get proper tea."

"France is a shitty country... Even the Nice parts are rundown."

"I still remember that moment I said I love you too, coz that's the exact moment my life got fucked up!"

"What are Mexican hackers called? BanDDoS"

"What 3 candies do you find in school? Redhots, DumDums, and smarties."