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Joke of the Day

"I once dated a homeless girl. splitting the bill wasn't always easy but at least after our date I could drop her off anywhere."

"What is brown and sits in a toilet in a dutch attic? The diarrhea of Anne Frank."

"ME: My name is Nigel and I'm an alcoholic. AA GROUP: Hi Nigel. *cut to confessional camera* ME: I'm here to WIN, not to make friends."

"I get confused by Burqas. I accidentally posted a letter in a Muslim woman yesterday."

"What do you call the fruit of Islam? Quran-berries"

"My boss said he's going to fire the employee with the worst posture. I've got a hunch it might be me."

"I had an imaginary girlfriend for a few years, but she ended up leaving me for my best friend. He had a bigger imagination than I did."

"Hug your children. Hug your friends and family. Hug the cashier at Chipotle. Hug someone else's children. Hug the arresting officer."

"The virgin I like my men like I like my sci-fi movies... to boldly go where no man has gone before!"

"Why are all early birds Catholics? Protestant birds don't really want a Diet of Worms."