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Joke of the Day

"An electrician comes home at 2 am.... His wife asks, ""wire you insulate?"" He replies, ""watt's the problem, I'm ohm aren't I?"""

"My wife said she was leaving me because of my obsession with bodybuilding. I could feel the weight lifting from my shoulders."

"""so, have you ever done a job interview over the phone before?"" [over vigorous peeing] no, this will be a first"

"How does an eyelash, so soft and fine, turn into a cheese-grater when it gets under your eyelid?"

"Which of these three does not belong: (A) a lobster, (B) a flounder, or (C) a Korean man who has just been run over by a bus? The answer is (B) a flounder. The other two are crushedAsians."

"I just flew into town and boy are my arms tired! Get it? Because, I've been jerking off on the plane..."

"My friend told me I'm delusional. I almost fell of my rhino..."

"Teacher: Why are you late Joseph? Joseph: Because of a sign down the road. Teacher: What does a sign have to do with your being late? Joseph: The sign said ""School Ahead Go Slow!"""

"Give me your best ""Why don't you make like a _______ and _______."""

"How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb? It only takes one, but it takes a very long time and the light bulb has to really want to change."