104809

Joke of the Day

"I went to a AAA meeting today and a guy celebrated 21 years. That is some responsible vehicle ownership."

"Getting married lost its appeal as soon as I figured out that acquiring a maid of honor wasn't going to get my floors washed."

"Finally saw the new Batman. SPOILER ALERT: the Bane character is up to no good."

"If you're gonna write a 300 word Instagram description for your photo, go ahead & throw a murder confession in there. Nobody will ever know."

"My Boss asked me to put two pieces of wood together... I nailed it! My friend Steve figured I would of screwed it up."

"Food choices How come almost everything that tastes good is bad and almost everything that tastes bad is good?"

"whats the difference between a baby and a sandwich? i dont fuck my sandwich before i eat it"

"Understanding women is like... Smelling the color 3."

"Dear cast of The Simpsons, Why is it that the asian characters are white and the white characters are yellow? Sincerely, confused."

"Just found this hillarious joke I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather. Not screaming in terror like his passengers."