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Joke of the Day

"I was so happy when I got my first pubic hair! But instantly saddened when I realized it was just my penis :(..."

"Why is Ian Thorpe gay? He didn't like breast stroke."

"My wife asked my why i carry a gun in the house. I looked at her and said ""Decepticons"". She laughed, i laughed, the toaster laughed, i shot the toaster. It was a good time."

"What do dyslexic soldiers get after war? PDTS"

"I put sea salt on my seafood, so they can be reunited. Because I like happy endings."

"""Half a dozen"" because saying '6' is way too long... >_<"

"Now accepting applications for a new best friend. Must be willing to let me put my fingers in your mouth. No Mexicans. No skanks. Por favor."

"What do you call a lonely orator? A master debater."

"Whats a vegetables favorite Bee Gee song? Chive Talkin'"

"*invents time machine* *goes to 1930 germany* *points guns at young hitler* What gives u the right to ruin a mustache style for everyone?"