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Joke of the Day

"How did Darth Vader know what Luke was getting for Christmas? Q: How did Darth Vader know what Luke was getting for Christmas? A: He could feel his presence!"

"I keep having suicidal thoughts But I try not to get too hung up on them."

"Hey, did you guys know Vicodin *isn't* like Flinstones chewables, at all."

"I can't decide whether to go to Australia or Thailand this year for a holiday. So I decided to weigh up the pros and cons of both. Australia has a load of Cons, but Thailand has lots of Pros."

"If you're wondering if humans are idiots we hunt ducks with guns when they will walk right up to you if you have bread"

"You know what sounds sexy? Six women... Dozen tit."

"A Mexican man contended in the Olympics He won a gold medal in the ""Jump and run"" event."

"What do you call an Indian dating service? Connect the dots."

"At least mad scientists aren't mad enough to disregard the importance of safety goggles."

"My neighbor called my dog fat the other day. Took me two hours to convince my dog that he just had thick fur."