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Joke of the Day

"What did Abe Lincoln say after a night of drinking? ""I set WHO free?"""

"You know why we can never trust atoms? Because they make up everything."

"isis was planning to use biological warfare against David Cameron... but they got anthrax mixed up with tampax and poisoned the wrong cunt"

"Have you seen that sexy taser? She's stunning."

"A termite walks into a bar And asks ,"" Is the bar tender here?"

"Who makes more money, a hooker or a drug dealer? The hooker because she can wash her crack and sell it again."

"Latest news from the FIFA corruption scandal: Shock announcement from FIFA's Ethics Committee: ""FIFA has an Ethics Committee"""

"without a doubt my least favourite thing about being alive is having a body, hate taking care of this hunk of shit"

"I never go camping, but I sometimes go to bed without the TV on so I get it."

"What's the difference between love, true love, and showing off? Spitting, swallowing, and gargling."