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Joke of the Day

"Person A: Do you know the shelf life of Cocaine? Person B: I don't know Person A: Nobody knows. Sniff"

"Bucks vs. Falcons REPORTER: Lovie, can you say something about your team's execution tonight? LOVIE SMITH: I think it would be a good idea!"

"Did you hear about the fly on the toilet seat? It was Saturn by Uranus."

"Deathbed confession Me: We're bankrupt Him: What? How? Me: I lied about being able to fold fitted sheets. I bought new ones every time"

"My friend was being attacked by a duck. I tried to warn him but it only made things worse."

"How long is a chinese person So is his brother."

"My girlfriend is kind of like Pandora. Everyone once and a while I just have to let it know I'm still listening even though its all just noise at this point."

"What did the Mexican doctor tell the Lone Ranger? Estas muriendo. Tu necesitas chemo. Sabe?"

"Sure, racists supporting Trump doesn't mean he's racist. But, if I was painting my house and the KKK said it looked good, I'd start over."

"why do women not need to wear watches? there's a clock on the stove"