35041

Joke of the Day

"Why girls want to be mermaids 1. No pants 2. No periods 3. Perfect hair 4. You get to lure men to their deaths 5. Free clam bra"

"i'm the kind of person who would pretend i don't know your name but actually know what you been up to for the past 5 years per facebook."

"Art Teacher: The picture of the horse is good but where is the wagon ? Pupil: The horse will draw it !"

"What do you call a Chinese man with a pet cat? A vegetarian."

"What's the difference between a gay guy and a freezer? A freezer doesn't fart when I pull the meat out."

"What do call a horse that lives near you? A neighbor (naybor for pessimist horses)"

"What do you call an African Bukkake? Chocolate frosting"

"I found out that for months my kid has been throwing his poop at beehives. I sat him down and said, ""Son, it's time we talked about the turds and the bees."""

"""I love you. I'd do anything for you."" -let me see your phone real quick ""You're smothering me. I need some space"""

"I stepped on a grape... and it let out a little wine."