104301
Joke of the Day
"What kind of tie does a ghost wear to a formal party? A boo-tie."
Next Joke
"What did the egg say to the boiling water? It's going to take me a minute to get hard, I was just laid by this chick."
"How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb ? Juan"
"The more Twitter tells me it's over Capacity, the more I suspect Twitter still loves Capacity and regularly sits outside her house, weeping."
"How to eat French fries: 1) Eat all the good ones. 2) Leave the yucky ones and feel superior. 3) Wait 5 minutes. 4) Eat all the yucky ones."
"I could make way more Ayn Rand jokes here, but most of you would be too weak and altruistic to understand them. Let alone profit from them."
"A man lost $100 bill Teacher: Why are you late? Student: There was a man who lost a hundred dollar bill. Teacher: That's nice. Were you helping him look for it? Student: No. I was standing on it."
"[lawyer whispers to plaintiff] two can play this game ""Your honor. Upsexy."" Judge: what's upsexy? ""that's harassment. move to change venues"""
"Why was the robot cold? He was missing his winter gear"
"What's the difference between a cat and a comma? One has claws at the end of paws and the other has a pause at the end of clause"