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Joke of the Day
"What does an egg say when he gets turnt? Om lit cred: my friend DaMexicanBurrito from playstation."
Next Joke
"Wife [interrogating]: How long have we been married dear? Me: How dare you try and sneak maths into this."
"I went as a congressional bill for Halloween.... I stayed in the House and didn't do anything."
"I drool as I watch the gyro meat getting sliced off the stick for my wrap... ... then I wonder - is that how vegans feel when they watch someone mowing the lawn?"
"Why did the Mayor take so long to endorse a Presidential candidate? Because he was running on CP time."
"magician: ""think of a letter, any letter"" me: ""ok"" magician: ""now double it"" me: [visibly confused]"
"maintenance guy at the airport just told me he'd rather look at girls' poop than guys' poop. No more small talk today."
"What is the difference between my dick and my life? Life is harder."
"A cannibal with diarrhea cloned himself for dinner. He shit himself."
"My son has the worst altitude ever. He's defiant, rude and floating like six feet off the ground."