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Joke of the Day

"magician: ""think of a letter, any letter"" me: ""ok"" magician: ""now double it"" me: [visibly confused]"

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"What do you get if your budgie flies into the blender ? Shredded Tweet !"
"What happened when fire and the wheel were invented? People got lit and turnt."
"Ooo! The morning weather girl... Come on baby, give daddy the five day forecast."
"Why do Italians carry slices of turd in their wallets? For identification."
"1. Tattoo ""I'M WATCHING YOU"" on your shaved head. 2. Grow hair and wait for daughter's boyfriend to come over. 3. Shave head in front of him"
"[high seas] FIRST MATE: I can't wait to see my wife again PIRATE: Land Ho! FIRST MATE: Now look, that's a little rude"
"Where do terrorists go to have a drink? Allahuak Bar"
"Why I'm leaving Reddit. I have to go to the gas station to pick up some munchies."
"The best curve on a girl is her smile. Lol just kidding, look at dat ass."
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