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Joke of the Day

"Pregnant elephant Q: What's more difficult than getting a pregnant elephant in a VW bug? A: Getting an elephant pregnant in a VW bug."

"You know when your teacher is running ten minutes late and it feels like nobody is in charge? That's what Mexico feels like all the time."

"The Dalai Lama enters a Pizza Shop and asks Can you make me one with everything?"

"""This is NPR."" Yeah, we know. You just spent the past 4 minutes whispering the news over a jazz saxophone solo."

"A maternity ward was overflowing one national holiday It was Labor day"

"A woman called and said ""I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola on one of those computer planes."" I asked if she meant to fly to Pensacola on a commuter plane. She said ""Yeah whatever."""

"On the list of things I've learned today: 1. You're not allowed to walk a police dog 2. Pepper spray recovery time is 37 minutes"

"How many points do I get if I hit a Pokemon player with my car?"

"Revenge is never as satisfying as you'd hope And the cops always come sooner then you expect"

"It's funny how 1 text, 1 song, 1 mistake, 1 lie, 1 truth, and 1 person could change your mood in 1 second."