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Joke of the Day
"For hire: Unemployed dwarf No job; too small"
Next Joke
"Ordering a decaf coffee is like ordering a picture of food"
"[orchestra] VIOLIN 1: *pssst* Can I ask you a dumb question? VIOLIN 2: Um, okay. V1: What's up w/the guy in front waving his arms around?"
"If you think I'm flirting with you, I'm just being friendly. If you think I'm weird and I make you uncomfortable, I'm flirting with you."
"Why are antivax parents so afraid of their kids getting autism? Because they know, first hand, how hard life is when you're a fucking retard."
"Just choked on a apple... Bet a brownie wouldn't have done that.."
"I want to know the backstory of when an eyelash turns evil and says ""That's it. I'm done protecting the eye. I'm going in to destroy it now"""
"A seal walks in to a club... haha"
"Turkish fundraising dinner Donor Kebab"
"Give a man a subtweet and he'll be like ""is this about me?"" Teach a man to subtweet you'll be like ""is that about me?"""