226164

Joke of the Day

"[orchestra] VIOLIN 1: *pssst* Can I ask you a dumb question? VIOLIN 2: Um, okay. V1: What's up w/the guy in front waving his arms around?"

"Captain Hook's Girlfriend Breaking Up with Him It's not you, It's Smee."

"Knock Knock Knock!! Who's there? The Mandela Effect."

"The first rule of denial club is I can stop anytime I want."

"I like my sex like I like my tree forts No girls allowed"

"I've done a lot of volunteer work for unwed mothers. Just helping them get their start."

"I like to paint pictures of WW2 bombers onto the sides of beautiful women."

"I have a Pakistani girl friend. Last night she said that she wanted to blow me. Now I wasn't sure if I should lower my pants or call the cops."

"Why was 7 afraid of 8? Because may be 8 didn't have charging jack"

"Pretty sure 40% of Americans would vote for a giant finger that just pointed at people and said ""Their Fault."""