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Joke of the Day

"GEEK BOOTY CALL... FRESH AIR You're a breath of fresh air, just like my asthma inhaler!"

"What does an aardvark use when he has a cold? An ant-ihistamine!"

"Why couldn't the skeleton go to the Christmas Party ? He had no body to go with !"

"What's Hillary Clinton's key to success? The Delete Key"

"Knock Knock? Who's there? Eat map. Eat map who? NO THANKS!"

"if you come into a restroom & announce that you've ""had to piss for two hours"" I'd better hear a strong, frothy stream for at least a minute"

"I just did yoga. No wait, yogurt."

"What did the soap say to the hands as they were being washed? ""I think we're in sink."""

"Thinking about the first person ever to get drunk. People must have been like, ""COME QUICK! JEREMIAH HAS BEEN STRICKEN WITH AWESOME!"""

"I bought a Cosmo magazine that said ""Best Sex Ever!"" All I got was a bunch of papercuts."