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Joke of the Day

"Kinda bummed that my pet goldfish died today of a bladder infection. Although to be fair, I probably should have realized something was up when the bowl kept overflowing."

"Who is the least guilty U.S. President? Lincoln. He's in a cent!"

"What do lawyers wear to court? Lawsuits! Courtesy of the popsicle I just enjoyed. Had to share. Have a great day."

"Mod Announcement: Due to complaints from our fair-haired readers, blonde jokes are no longer allowed... ...because they couldn't read them."

"Why does everybody like the mushroom? Because he's a fun guy."

"So what do you guys think my odds are of getting hit by a car if I went out on my road bike right now? 4/20?"

"My weekly retreat is simple: driving alone down country roads for a couple of hours with tunes cranked up and singing loudly to livestock."

"Why did the vengeful fireman lose his job? He tried fighting fire with fire."

"Me on the Phone: I'm going to ""work"" from home today. My Boss: I heard those air quotes."

"It's cool to jump out of bed and realize you are already dressed to run to Walmart"