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Joke of the Day
"Why did John Wayne get a weiner dog? He wanted to get a long little doggy."
Next Joke
"[tv commercial] me: ""know what i'd love for breakfast?"" mum: ""what's that son?"" me: ""if someone pre-chewed my food"" narrator: ""porridge"""
"I should make a gym that only accepts fat people I would get tons of business, tons"
"Me: Yes, I'd like the Mexican massage. Masseuse: The what? Me: *hands him taco seasoning and sour cream* Masseuse: Me: Let's go, chop chop."
"What's the difference between a scout boy and a jew? The scout boy comes home from camp."
"You don't see many reindeer in zoos do you? No. They can't afford the admission."
"What do the average woman and kids on a snow day have in common? They're both hoping for nine inches, but will be happy enough with five."
"What do you call an Irish guy who can't keep off the weight? McFatagain! I'm sorry."
"Hey ladies, tired of your man complaining about how long it takes you to get ready? Start blow drying your hair in the nude. I promise no more complaints."
"If we get to have sex with our valentines on Valentine's Day I can't wait until Presidents' Day."