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Joke of the Day

"Me: Yes, I'd like the Mexican massage. Masseuse: The what? Me: *hands him taco seasoning and sour cream* Masseuse: Me: Let's go, chop chop."

"What is Vladimir Putin's favourite Justin Timberlake song? Crimea river"

"You'll have to excuse me. I've just been going through a weird time since birth."

"Two flies were sitting on a piece of poo. One farted. The other said 'do you mind? I'm eating.'"

"So there are three nuns walking down the street and a streaker runs by... The first nun has a stroke, the second nun has a stroke, but the third, the third nun doesn't touch him."

"Some women wear larger shirts to make their bodies feel smaller... I wear smaller condoms to make my penis feel larger"

"For sale: one parachute. Only used once, never opened, slight stain."

"How did the bad Canadian fisherman describe his only catch of the day? ""Aboot this big"""

"If you have a dollar.. you're a billionthaire."

"What do you call a chinese pedophile? Pok Um Yung"