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Joke of the Day

"How did the farmer figure out how much milk he had? He used cowculus!"

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"Three guys walk into a bar You'd think one of them would've seen it"
"Why did the T.V. break up with the remote? She thought he was too controlling."
"Why will the columbine high basket ball team lose the tournament? Because they lost their 2 best shooters"
"As you get older, dirty talk turns into ""Yeah baby, take that nap. Take all of it honey. You like that couch? Oh yeah, sleep on it..."""
"What do you do if a cow is in the middle of the road you're driving on? steer clear"
"Not to brag, but I've satisfied every waitress that's ever served me... With just the tip."
"[describing sketch artist to criminal] He was pretty good at drawing pictures."
"i'm the kind of person who would pretend i don't know your name but actually know what you been up to for the past 5 years per facebook."
"Remember a sense of humor does not mean that you tell him jokes, it means you laugh at his."