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Joke of the Day

"What do you do to an Islamic dog that barks too much? Musl'im"

"I wasn't planning on giving Christmas gifts this year until I heard about those exploding Samsung Galaxy phones."

"Did you know if you weigh yourself, then take a dump, then weigh the dump & weigh yourself again, you'll be banned from Walgreens for life?"

"Why did the lawyer have sex with the devil? Because he'd already screwed everyone else!"

"My dad asked me if I wanted to join an acapella group in college I told him I was straight."

"Hi, I'm bisexual. I'd like to BUY you a drink...and then get sexual."

"What has 4 legs and an arm? A happy pit bull."

"When my girlfriend told me the news, I pushed her out of a thirty-story building. She fell pregnant."

"Greg was so hungry he ate a frozen steak. He hadn't really thawed it out."

"Palpatine what was your involvement in 9/11? Flew it."