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Joke of the Day

"You know you're the family addict when it's time to light birthday candles & everyone looks at you knowing you have a lighter in your pocket"

"I think Lance Armstrong is missing a huge opportunity by not endorsing Uni-ball pens."

"I never try to make guests feel at home. If they wanted to feel at home, they should have stayed there."

"What was the last thing that went through Princess Diana's head? The steering wheel."

"Two IT guys are having a chat during a coffee break and one of them sais to the other: Could you borrow me $500? Of course. But let's round it up. Here's $512."

"Donald Trump for President."

"Why do male midgets laugh so hard when they play football ? It's because the grass tickles their balls."

"Made a Freudian slip, with my ex-wife. I meant to say: ""Hello"" but actually said: ""You silly cow, you've ruined my life."""

"I've been e-mailing William Shakespeare. William Shakespeare's dead silly. No wonder he hasn't replied."

"God must be a Republican. He wasn't that into humans until He found His Son was one."