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Joke of the Day

"I was lying in bed yesterday... I looked up and saw the beautiful night sky, the moon, and the stars. Then I wondered... Where the fuck is my roof?"

"What do you get when you take the pee out of poops oops"

"So there was this surfer dude called Curl, but he died in a tsunami wave RIP Curl"

"I used to be scared of pretty girls, So my Mom explained that was silly, because they're much more scared of me."

"Marital prejudice/ politics amongst fruit Q: What did Mr & Mrs Rockmelon say to their daughter when she wanted to run off with Johnny Watermelon? A: But you cantaloupe!"

"Just overheard someone say, ""I wish I had a Kindle that never ran out of batteries."" You know. Like a book."

"I dont have a ""college fund"" bc my youngest will most likely get a scholarship and my oldest thinks all dogs are boys and all cats are girls"

"I secretly like days when none of my facebook friends have birthdays."

"Bad news... Apparently ""bouncing baby boy"" is just an idiom."

"My girlfriend is a porn star. She's going to be so pissed off when she finds out."