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Joke of the Day

"A woman walks up to a guy in blue swimming trunks and says, ""Your eyes match your swim trunks!"" He says, ""Why? Are my eyes bulging?"""

"What online image hosting service do puppies use to post their puppy pictures? Imgrrrrrrr"

"Why did the chicken cross the road? To see the poof. Knock Knock? Who's there? The chicken."

"My girlfriend broke up with me because I supposedly"" take things too far"" So I called the police."

"A parabola walked into a bar... It walked out again"

"A little demon came home from school one day and said to his mother 'I hate my sister's guts.' 'All right' said his mother 'I won't put them in your sandwiches again.'"

"I wake my daughter up by tossing pebbles at her window so the first time a suitor tries she'll have the same response we do to alarm clocks"

"Sometimes I miss having an appendix.. [removed]"

"How are old jokes on reddit like a herpes outbreak? You know they are going to keep coming back, and despite the fact they are weaker each time, you still don't look forward to them."

"The inventor of rock, paper, scissors must have been an extremely dangerous man if he considered paper a weapon."