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Joke of the Day

"I'm reading a book on anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down."

"Why do Trekkies never grow out of Star Trek? They always somehow just Klingon to it."

"What's the difference between a gun and amnesia? Oh shoot, I forgot..."

"I always draw track marks on my arms and cough a lot when visiting family so that no one asks me to hold their baby or help prepare food."

"Did you know that diarrhea is hereditary?? Yeah, it runs in your jeans..."

"I'm surprised people still ask me if I want to hold their baby given the number of times I've dropped my phone."

"How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side!"

"I saw some snails fighting in my driveway... They were really slugging it out."

"Kanye West Running For President 2020"

"What's your best one-liner?"